Category Archives: tribute

Lee’s Happy Customer Service Experience (a post by Lee)

I was having trouble with my company’s iPad and turned to my favorite assistance medium — LIVE CUSTOMER SERVICE CHAT. I basically live for live-chatting customer service representatives; I think it is so fun.

In order to best assist me, my Apple representative, Derek, asked me to download an application that allowed for screen-sharing.

SCREENSHARING

I had some concerns.

CONCERNED

Then I got real.

I HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT POP STARS

After my problem was solved, Derek made a well-timed joke!

HEROSIM

Then I promoted Betty Who, and in turn, Derek got real.

BETTY WHO
GREAT EXPERIENCE

And it was a great experience.

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Jennifer Lawrence’s New Talk Show (a post by Lee)

BFF

BFF

Sometime in mid-2011, Liz, AM, and I discovered we were all equally obsessed with The Hunger Games. Since then, we’ve exchanged hundreds, if not thousands, of emails, arguing over who should be cast as Finnick, complaining about the inadequacy of The Cave Scene in the first movie, writing fanfiction about how The Cave Scene should have actually played out (in brief: LESS TALK, MORE ACTION), and (like the rest of America) fervently wishing Jennifer Lawrence were our real-life best friend.

In today’s email chain about this fantastic interview (J LAW! LOVE THE HAIRCUT. LOOKING GOOD, GIRL), I came up with a brilliant idea.

MAKE IT HAPPEN, AMERICA

MAKE IT HAPPEN, AMERICA

I immediately started brainstorming some ideas, which I have copied below.

J Laying Down The Law — she could be a judge! or give people reality checks!

Jennifer’s Furs/JenniFur — PLAYING WITH PETS, TALKING TO PETOWNERS, WEARING MINK COATS

Hell Nah with J Law — her catchphrase would be “hell nah!” I guess she’d say no to things a lot?

Blintz, Mints, and Jennifer Lawrence — a cooking and confectionery show, I guess

Chauffeur? No! It’s… JENNIFER! — this could be like cash cab, but instead jennifer lawrence is a limo driver taking people to the airport. she rolls down the window — BOOM IT’S JENNIFER EVERYONE’S SURPRISED then they get a free ride and she gets a plane ticket somewhere cool and takes me with her

Pardonnez-Moi, Monsieur; Je M’Appelle Jennifer — wherein jlaw tries to learn french, hijinx ensue

If any of y’all happen to know any TV producers, please let them know I’m available to discuss any of these terrific ideas further.

Fanny Pack (a post by Lee)

I can’t claim to possess any great amount of dignity; unfortunately, the Internet can prove that all too well. But of all the things I receive the most grief for, it’s my predilection towards wearing a fanny pack.

My friends recently shared this exchange over Facebook:

fannypack

And a few weeks ago, as I was preparing to go to a Solange concert, Jordie looked at me and moaned, “Oh, no, not only are you going to wear that ridiculous outfit, but you just have to top it off with that fanny pack, don’t you?”

Y’all, I really don’t get it. Fanny packs are of great utility, look fashionable, and allow me to get my dance on without having to readjust a purse strap on my shoulder. So my friends Justin, Timbaland, and I got together to write an ode in honor of this oft-maligned accessory.

Fanny Pack from Lee M. on Vimeo.

Godspeed Your Love to Me (a post by Lee)

We read S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders in 7th grade Language Arts class. I don’t recall much about how I felt about the book itself — I liked that it was written by a teenage girl and that it featured characters named Ponyboy and Sodapop — but I do remember my life changing substantially when we watched the film adaptation of it.

The movie version of The Outsiders is jam-packed with famous faces: Emilio Estevez, Diane Lane, Matt Dillon, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, Ralph Macchio, and, most importantly, Patrick Swayze. The moment that man appeared on the screen, I fell totally, hopelessly, and forever in love.

And how can you blame me? Just look at the man! After class, I immediately hung this photo of him in my locker (Patrick remains, by the way, the only man to ever be posted up in my locker — sorry, High School Boyfriend!):

My obsession knew no bounds. I wrote him a 14-page love letter (he never wrote back). I recorded him hosting Saturday Night Live and watched it repeatedly. I spent hours at Village Video, renting any P. Swayze movie I could get my hands on: Ghost, Dirty Dancing, Point Break, even Three Wishes. I actually saw Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights in the theatre. But my favorite Patrick movie is To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar. If you’re unfamiliar with the premise of the film, it features Patrick and Wesley Snipes as NYC-based drag queens taking their protégé (played by John Leguizamo) on a road trip to LA to enter a contest for National Drag Queen of the Year. Patrick nailed it. Just watch the opening scene:

He is absolutely flawless. He plays a drag queen so convincingly. Perhaps antithetically, this served to make him even more attractive to me. Not only was the man unfathomably masculine and sexy, a trained ballet dancer, and an accomplished singer-songwriter, but he also was a beautiful woman! His range was limitless.

Anyway, I’m dragging out (pun intended) the point of this post, which is to say that 3 years ago today, Patrick Swayze, love of my life and loins, died. I was in my last semester at Davidson, and came home from class to find more voicemails, missed calls, and text messages than I’ve ever received on any of my birthdays. (Which, by the way, is 17 October. Just saying.) In a misguided attempt to properly mourn his passing, I wore my roommate’s black dress to classes the next day. It wasn’t until I was halfway through my second class that it occurred to me that I was actually wearing my bustier roommate’s rather low-cut cocktail dress. Instead of looking heartbroken and elegiac, I came across as a bit of a tart who didn’t have time to go home and change for her Tuesday classes after a big Monday night out. Not quite the effect I was going for, really. I should have sat Shiva instead.

I haven’t yet found an appropriate way to honor Patrick Swayze’s life. I’ve spent the past few deathdays drinking margaritas, having movie marathons, and wishing Whoopi Goldberg could really channel Patrick Swayze’s spirit. I’m sure tonight will include much of the same. Or maybe I’ll just watch the clay scene from Ghost on loop and cry into my pillow. Ditto, right, you guys?

Me and Patrick

Anna Mâché Smith (a tribute by Jordie and Lee)

So Anna Marie left us today to move to New York. We’ve been feeling pretty low (or, in Jordie’s words, “grief-stricken”) about it all day. Then we discovered something Anna Marie left behind.

Two years ago, for Anna Marie’s 23rd birthday, Jordie and I crafted a papier-mâché bust of AM’s head.

This took about a week.

We presented it to her on her birthday, fully expecting applause and squeals of delight. She was mostly confused.

Bust a move

Anna Marie moved away from Houston today. Jordie and I mourned her departure all afternoon. But then we discovered Anna Mâché on a shelf in our costume closet. It’s like she never left!

We played board games:

She lost.

Then we watched some TV:

Her favorite show is America’s Funniest Home Videos.

We drank champagne to celebrate living together in Houston:

Houston or Bust!

Then we sang some karaoke:

She was a bit flat.

We even took a nap!

Anna Mâché sucks at napping.

While we’ve enjoyed our time with Anna Mâché, nothing can replace hanging out with the real Anna Marie. We miss you already, Mar, and please don’t forget to pay this month’s rent.

Happy Birthday, Mom! (a post by Lee)

My mom celebrated her 60th 2nd 30th birthday on Sunday. For almost 10 years, she’s requested that my siblings and I perform Elton John’s “Funeral for a Friend” for her. We’ve yet to do so — sorry, Mom! — but hopefully this Elton John-inspired homemade song will suffice in the meantime. Maybe for your 70th birthday we’ll finally have our act together…

Happy birthday, Maman! Je t’aime!

Big News! (a post by Lee)

Attention world: Starting in August, Anna Marie is going to grad school in America’s greatest city: Houston New York!

for the record, she was in heels.

While I am super excited for AM and the adventures that await her, I’m also experiencing a bit of nostalgia and, in moments of self honesty, sadness.

Anna Marie and I were semi-randomly paired together as roommates our junior year, when we served as hall counselors to a floor of 19 freshman girls. Despite having talked on the phone almost daily over the summer (our conversations consisting of matters most important, such as which costumes we’d be contributing to the costume trunk and whether or not AM was okay with me affixing a huge photo of Barbara Walters to our wall [the answer was yes]), we really didn’t know each other particularly well. Regardless, we hit it off immediately, becoming inseparable to the point where our names were practically synonymous.

Then we left Davidson and both decided to move to Houston; Anna Marie for a job and me on a whim/in a vain attempt to woo Jordie. We took the city by storm, encouraging each other to go out and meet people even when all we wanted to do was hide in our apartment and play World of Warcraft. Again, our identities merged — our new friends referred to us as twins — as we did nearly everything in tandem.

A lot has changed since those first few months in Texas. We’ve found friends (believe it or not) and jobs, and have really created a home here. And while we’ve grown increasingly independent, we’ve always had each other around to peer pressure into going out on a Tuesday night lean on. I guess what I’m saying is, as our time together in Houston is coming to an end, I realize how incredibly lucky I truly am to have had someone as amazing as Anna Marie help me navigate this new city. Thanks, girl.