Lee’s Unpublished Entries, Vol. 1 (a post by Lee)

When I was home for Easter this year, I discovered an old journal in my closet. It’s sometimes fun but mostly incredibly painful to scour through old journal entries and see what mundanity I felt compelled to document. I browsed through this particular notebook and decided I’d share some of my least most poignant preadolescent insights in all their unedited splendor.

My camp is leaving for Costa Rica today. When we go to the rain forest, I think it’d be cool to see monkeys and sloths. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a good picture of a monkey. If I’m even luckier, Mom will let me enlarge the photo and frame it in my room.

We are in Tellahorsa, which apparently is actually spelled Tilajari. We rafted down the river, and I saw tons of sloths and howler monkeys! My life is complete! Right now I’m watching “Road House” on TBS, because it stars Patrick Swayze! Hurrah! We’re gonna have a really big day tomorrow, so I’m gonna stop writing now.

I read “A Child Called It” by Dave Pelzer today. That was a bad idea.

We returned home to New Jersey today. I found some feathers.

At Kelly’s today, I made up a dance. It’s called “The Hot Tub Cha-Cha.” Everyone was impressed. [Ed.: False.] I am glad and sad camp’s over. It’s hard to have two emotions at once, since they’re so opposite one another.

Steph gave me good advice today. She’s my Ann Landers!

I never want to forget that French trip last year where we saw Carson Daly (host of TRL), Travis Barker (drummer from Blink 182), and Tyrese (I think he’s a singer). I’m playing Dogz right now and creating an Adoption Kit. Mental note: Find out who Johnny Depp is. Philippe had Elliot over today, who’s this awesome short kid. Mom told me not to see Space Cowboys because there are too many famous people in it, and that means it’s a bad movie. I can’t work tapes on my boom box. It’s very confusing. Adam Sandler reminds me of Mr. M (in case I read this when I’m elderly – Mr. M was 7th grade science teacher). [Ed.: In case I read this blog post when I’m elderly – Mr. M was nothing like Adam Sandler.]

Bon Jovi’s song “It’s My Life” is pretty good. I want to get his CD. It’s almost school time so we went to Staples for school supplies. I got a cool binder and cool pencils. Here’s a picture of Leonardo DiCaprio:

[No text, just two more pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio.]

I’m interpersonal.

I had a dream last night where I brushed my teeth. Philippe was running really fast down the hall today, and I stuck my foot out, and he flew. I’m calling him Superman now. He’s sitting in my room working on a drawing of a truck. I wish they’d let us carry our backpacks in the hallway at school. I think rules like this is what my Civics teacher Mrs. H meant when she defined totalitarianism.

Amy, Stephanie, and I saw 9 Days today. We were in the front row. We all got to slap the hot guy’s hand! They signed my Jets hat. Remy called me “a lucky loser.” Sassy!

Jenna was kicked off of Survivor today. Rudy had immunity. I haven’t heard from my pen pal Anze in a long time. Kenzie’s cat Skitters may die today or sometime soon. 😦

Simon’s aunt’s brother, Josh, used to work for MTV, and he met MANDY MOORE! So cool. Who is Robert Iler?


11 responses to “Lee’s Unpublished Entries, Vol. 1 (a post by Lee)

  1. This is AMAZING. I can’t wait for future volumes.

  2. Oh my God I can’t even breathe I am laughing so hard…

  3. MY LIFE WILL NOT BE COMPLETE until I see you perform the Hot Tub Cha-Cha!
    David T

  4. Fantastic. Hot tub cha cha!

  5. Let me guess — Elliot also had brown eyes.

  6. OMG – this is absolutely amazing!

  7. thank you for sharing this so that all of our beliefs that you were always this amazing could be confirmed. always have been, always will be in love with you. xo

  8. oh man, this is HILARIOUS. i love your “mental note” to find out who johnny depp is…that whole entry is gold.

  9. Pingback: Lee’s Unpublished Entries, Vol. 2 (a post by Lee) | We Think We're Funny

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