So, Big Heals and leD got married last weekend. In a successful attempt to entice Jordie, Mar, and I to attend, they mentioned there would be karaoke at the reception. The three of us were delirious with excitement.
I schemed about honoring both the dearly beloved couple and my idol, Gladys Knight, by performing a rousing rendition of “Midnight Train to Georgia” – one of my power songs. In this vision, Jordie and Mar served as the Pips to my Gladys. I pictured me powerfully singing the lyrics as adoring fans swayed, screamed, and cried. Behind me, Jordie and Mar moved in sassy, synched perfection as they sang their lyrics in a sweet falsetto.
The three of us, so convinced we would be sensational, forewent any practice whatsoever. Then the wedding came. Jordie, exceptionally nervous, spent the entire flight to North Carolina listening to the song on repeat. Despite his evident concern over the performance, we continued to neglect rehearsal.
After beautiful vows (which Mar officiated, incidentally), a delicious dinner, and some dancing, Mar decided it was time for Our Big Moment. She conned the karaoke man into getting the party started, grabbed Jordie and me, and ushered the three of us into position.
None of us could have predicted the disaster that ensued.
My voice, which I had intended to be passionate, strong, and feisty, proved to be thin, cracking, and off-key like never before. Mar evidently forgot her primary purpose as a back-up dancer and stood wagging her finger in the air and shouting the background vocals. Jordie, who was supposed to signal when to switch dance moves, experienced dancer’s block and could not think of more than 3 different moves. The Grand Finale, in which I was to be lifted in the air by my arms and spun around in a circle, resulted in Jordie and Mar realizing that I’m heavier than they anticipated, as well as Jordie becoming tangled in the microphone cord. The whole thing was a disaster.
Luckily, our quick-thinking friend Dogues recorded the entire tragedy. Enjoy.
And this is how we almost ruined the entire wedding. Luckily, our friends still like us!