So, Mar and I decided we’d donate blood. While I wish I could say this was a selfless act fueled by our commitment to providing life for people in need, we really did it for the free ice cream.
We prepared for this big event last night by consuming enough iron for a month. We stuffed ourselves silly with the stuff.
I was too excited about
the free pint donating blood to even eat breakfast. This decision later came back to haunt me.
We arrived at the Blood Center, ripe and eager.
After a quick interview (during which I passed the iron test with flying colors), My New Nurse Friend plopped me in a chair and began searching for a suitable vein to poke. Within seconds, I was watching my life-source flow out of my body into various vials and pouches.
Meanwhile, Mar sat nearby as nurses rejected her for having veins which were too tiny.
After about 10 minutes of bleeding, the nurse de-needled my arm and escorted me to the snack area. The receptionist promptly approached me and insisted I eat cookies and drink juice as I was looking pale. Despite the fashionability of paleness now, with vampires being all the rage and whatnot, and my desire to only drink water, I decided to comply with My Receptionist Friend’s request.
Convinced I was feeling groovy, Mar and I headed out to the local Sam’s Club to see what all the hubbub was about. We’d never been before, and figured
since we’re cheap and it was Free Entry Day now was as good a time as any to go.
After crossing a rather hot parking lot and then walking around this mansion of a grocery store, the lack of a tenth of my blood began to hit me. I leaned against a wall and paged Mar.
Sensing a sudden collapse in my future, Mar had me sit on the floor in the middle of the produce section. At this point, all I could see was blackness. In between moments of consciousness, my only words to Mar were, “Take pictures.”
What you can’t really see in the photo is that I was covered in sweat, shaking, unsure of where to look as I couldn’t see well, and talking nonsense. Mar recruited the help of a Sam’s Club employee, My New Hero, who brought me blueberries and a bottled water and reassured me that people faint in the store all the time. (I assume normally it’s from sheer shock at the size of the place, and generally not a result of blood loss. I think the sense of overwhelming I felt at Sam’s Club was certainly a contributor to my downfall.)
Eventually, I regained my vision and was able to hobble over to the dining area of the store, where Mar captured a really flattering photo of me recovering.
Three hours later we left for New Orleans.