Finding a Boyfriend, or; How I Learned to Love the Atomic Bomb (a post by Lee)

On Friday, 10 July 2009, Mar and I joined forces with our good friends leD, Big Heals, and the Baguette Brothers on an excursion to Video Games Live. This is a concert in which the National Symphony Orchestra plays songs from an array of video games, most familiar and some strange.

I will never deny my enthusiasm for video games, but I must admit I had ulterior motives; I wanted to find a date. Anna Marie and I have searched long and hard to find kindly gentlemen to take us on a double date, and we assumed with our extensive gaming knowledge we’d find success and compatibility in this milieu.

We stood outside of Wolf Trap (the venue) for a while, following an invigorating golf cart trip from the parking lot. Big Heals, leD, Mar, and I were disappointed by a complete lack of costumed participants. When we were finally allowed in the gates, we shuffled to the best lawn arrangement we could find. We were surrounded by total hotties; none, however, in costume.

Friends, Romans, countrymen

Friends, Romans, countrymen

As we sat around discussing our favorite RPGs and eating (a shameless plug for the Wolf Trap: if you have lawn seats, you can bring in your own food and drink, which is, in a word, AWESOME), it came to our attention that a costume contest was being held in the entrance. Our preoccupation with dinner dissipated instantly as leD, Mar, and I scrambled to check out the competition, leaving the boys behind in our wake. We were most certainly not disappointed.

Our first vision was this buff man, known to most as Guile from Street Fighter:

That. Hair. Is. So. Good.

That. Hair. Is. So. Good.

While he impressed me with his on-target pose and accurate tattoo work, he could not capture my roving eye and wanton heart. Oh, no, Guile had nothing on Solid Snake. This man appeared like a dream, with his captivating blue eyes and Army Surplus-supplied gear. I was in love. Clearly.

The Future Mr. & Mrs. Solid Snake

The Future Mr. & Mrs. Solid Snake

Solid Snake, however, had other people to attend to. Trying not to be too jealous of the objects of his infidelity, I attempted to distract myself by admiring other outfits. The dueling Links captivated me for a moment, but then I slipped back into misery.

Violence is not the answer.

Violence is not the answer.

Upon returning to our blanket, I stared off into space questioning the meaning of love and pondering its evasiveness.

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me, no more.

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me, no more.

Then, like a messenger from God, my One and Only appeared in the darkness, descending the stairs to our left. Immediately, I sprang up, knowing he was searching for me.

Lee: Snake! My darling! Over here!
Snake: Oh, hey! You have anything to drink?

Like a good girlfriend, I of course had some libations to provide him with.

He's like a boomerang - he'll always come back to me.

He's like a boomerang - he'll always come back to me.

Lee: Of course, light of my life. Unfortunately, we have no more cups! But we can share mine, love.
Snake: Oh, don’t even worry about that. I come prepared.

Then Snake whipped out a flask from his utility belt. I knew I loved this man.

The happy couple.

The happy couple.

Lee: Oh, sir, you are too good. Please, may I embrace you?
Snake: Only if I get to embrace you back.

Then we embraced. It really was beautiful. My joy was unequivocal:

Oh, to be young and in love!

Oh, to be young and in love!

But, as we know, young love is brief and transient, if passionate. I didn’t see Snake again for the rest of the evening, but it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, right?

Plus, on our way out, some guy tried to encourage his single, and admittedly mopey, friend (“I’ll never get a girlfriend.”) by pointing us out and saying, “Look, hot girls!” So we felt pretty good about ourselves.

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One response to “Finding a Boyfriend, or; How I Learned to Love the Atomic Bomb (a post by Lee)

  1. So… is that wine in the poland spring bottle? And what’s with the one polished fingernail? Aaarrrgh! WHAT’S WITH THE WHOLE BOTTLE???

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