Finger Lickin’ Good (a post by Anna)

I’ve got this good friend named Bentley McBentleson, and he’s a self-proclaimed Colonel Sanders enthusiast. His loyalty for KFC knows no ends. And by that, I mean he has a KFC tattoo.

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photo by Bentley McBentleson

Not long after KFC re-released the Double Down, Bentley McBentleson entered the Double Down Dare. If you aren’t familiar with the KFC Double Down, it’s two fried chicken fillets that sandwich cheese and bacon. Bentley submitted a series of videos for the KFC challenge. A week later, he was named the Double Down Dare Super Fan and awarded $500 and a party at any KFC location. He chose the charming East Village KFC.

Said KFC party just so happened to fall when Cary was coming to visit. Whether Cary wanted to go or not, I dragged him to this once in a lifetime experience.

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Time for a KFC par-tay!

Upon arrival, we got swag!!

We couldn't be more excited!

We couldn’t be more excited!

Bentley had the honor of wearing the Colonel Sanders costume.

The man, the myth, the legend.

The man, the myth, the legend.

We had unlimited soda refills! We had biscuits and jelly! We had mashed potatoes and gravy! We had potato wedges! We had Double Downs! WE HAD IT ALL.

Mashed Potato Time!

Nobody does chicken like KFC.

You may think they closed down the KFC for this big party, but nope – scattered around the KFC were regular patrons. Some were slightly confused by our themed attire and enthusiasm; others didn’t notice. Regardless, we congregated for this photo.

BREAD IS DEAD.

BREAD IS DEAD.

If this story isn’t reason enough for you to visit me in The Big Apple, I don’t know what is.

Live Texting House Hunters Davidson (a guest post by Jordie)

The other day I was flipping t.v. channels when I heard this couple saying they were moving to the “Charlotte suburb of Davidson, NC.” I accidentally threw the remote at the floor in an overzealous attempt to halt my autopilot-like channel surfing. Batteries went everywhere. The show was House Hunters, where couples complain their way through homes saying “Oh wow!” as they enter every single room of every single domicile. Apparently no one in this country respects a good budget anymore.

Anyway, I decided to live-text what was happening to some fellow Davidson College grads. Below is the transcript:

“There’s a House Hunters on in Davidson.”

“The couple likes the ‘downtown area.’ Downtown. Sheesh.”

“I don’t recognize anything.”

“They don’t mention the college at all.”

“I think they might be in the Beatty St. area. The wife hates everything.”

“They just got shakes at the Soda Shop. Chocolate from the looks of it.”

“I think I just saw the registrar.”

“This next house is ‘4 miles from the center of town.’ IN WHAT DIRECTION!!!???”

“They hate how close the houses are but love the new construction.”

“He works in Charlotte and commutes. WHERE IS THIS?!”

“There was a commercial for Michigan. Just Michigan.”

“Bonus room!”

“They chose house number one. The wife hates it.”

“Overall it went well.”

Lee’s Happy Customer Service Experience (a post by Lee)

I was having trouble with my company’s iPad and turned to my favorite assistance medium — LIVE CUSTOMER SERVICE CHAT. I basically live for live-chatting customer service representatives; I think it is so fun.

In order to best assist me, my Apple representative, Derek, asked me to download an application that allowed for screen-sharing.

SCREENSHARING

I had some concerns.

CONCERNED

Then I got real.

I HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT POP STARS

After my problem was solved, Derek made a well-timed joke!

HEROSIM

Then I promoted Betty Who, and in turn, Derek got real.

BETTY WHO
GREAT EXPERIENCE

And it was a great experience.

A Brief Anecdote About Peanut Butter (a post by Lee)

I used to, in one 10-minute sitting, be able to eat an entire jar of this peanut butter:

Needed: Cholesterol Check

Dark Chocolate Nightmare

My mom had to start HIDING THE JARS. Then I found them (cupboard in the laundry room — the usual hiding space) and would SNEAK BITES. And then she discovered that I found out, and threw out all the jars.

I was 20 years old.

Soliciting Advice (a post by Lee)

Hello beautiful humans.

It’s that time of year again when I’ve convinced myself that I can be a competitive eater. I discovered that Russo’s Pizzeria has a contest where, if you order a 28″ two-topping pizza and consume it within an hour, the restaurant will pay you $200.

I need help picking out toppings: Here is the menu.

Keep in mind: I don’t like olives and I don’t eat meat. I probably want toppings that are mostly water-based so as to prevent getting too full; probably no extra cheese (although maybe the extra salt would make me crave more pizza?).

Please to send me your thoughts.

With love and impending clogged arteries,
Lee

Hot Diggety Dog! (a post by Anna)

When it comes to pageantry, the fine folks at Animal Planet do not mess around. This was my biggest takeaway from attending the 10th annual Puppy Bowl Experience. Against my better judgement, I trudged through the madness of Times Square on Super Bowl weekend where organizers were expecting a million visitors. And doggone it, it was worth it.

If this is dedication to puppies, I don't know what is.

This represents my doggy dedication.

I double dog dared a couple friends to meet me at Discovery Times Square.  It was quite the dog and pony show, consisting of 20+ interactive booths full of puppy-themed activities.

The Puppy Locker Room

The Puppy Locker Room

Fun facts about the Puppy Bowl:

  1. The real thing is filmed months in advance.
  2. Pups must be between 12 and 21 weeks old to participate.
  3. These lucky dogs are rescues, and most get adopted before the Puppy Bowl ever airs.
  4. Producers smear peanut butter on camera lenses to attract the pooches.

First, we met Mo, the spokesdog for Mohawk Carpet, and were offered some free carpet samples.

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Talk about a dog’s life!

The Most Out-of-Place Award goes to: the Twizzlers booth! Unlimited Twizzlers for all!

There were so many coolers of Twizzlers.

Sooo many coolers of Twizzlers!!

Then came dogtag time. Puppy Bowl reps were cranking out dogtags faster than you can imagine.

This is for a future joke.

My dogged effort for a practical joke.

Then they threw us a literal bone! With this exclusive bone chair!

Obligatory Game of Bones photo.

Obligatory Game of Bones photo.

And that’s not all folks… we visited the Puppy Bowl Hall of Fame.

Most Drooled Over Toy

Most Drooled Over Toy

There were 30+ screens playing past Puppy Bowls, but nothing compared to the fanfare of the real deal. One dog-tired pup was sleeping on the sidelines, while others traded in and out of the game. Except for a few dog eat dog moments, it was spectacular!

Puppes Gone Wild

Puppies Gone Wild

Finally, we exited through the Puppy Bowl gift shop. In the words of Florence Welsh, “the dog days are over” for me, but I couldn’t have asked for a better time at the Puppy Bowl. For now, I’ll be following @Meepthebird as she tweets live updates and waiting for Keyboard Cat to play the halftime show. Happy Puppy Bowl Sunday, yall!

The Biggest Loser (a post by Lee)

Bad news. I lost the fantasy football championship.

CHAMPIONSHIP

I spent hours upon hours over the past few months rabidly consulting fantasy football message boards, sending unsolicited emails to disinterested parties about my “controversial managerial decisions that will surely lead to MY ULTIMATE VICTORY,” analyzing player trends, and spending too much money on French fries and beer at grotty sports bars. I turned into a person I hardly recognized; a person who says things like, “For a while the situation was bleak; my players insisted on concussing themselves; my Carolina defense sucked bigtime; don’t even get me started on my tight end’s perpetuated downward spiral into inefficacy.” It was the most fun (and self-induced anxiety) that I’ve ever had.

But in the end, despite my relentless enthusiasm and research, I failed as a manager, losing the championship game by a margin of 30 points. Friends have attempted to console me by telling me that I did exceptionally well for someone who a) knew nothing about football before this experience and b) is highly distractable. Nevertheless, I remain steeped in misery, and turned to songwriting to help express to y’all just how profoundly saddened I am.